It was inevitable. After the many questions of "How's being a mom?" and the many answers of "Really great!" there is now "Meh."
Don't anyone fly off the handle, yet; I'm trying not to. I still love being a mom. Yesterday was great, today hasn't been horrible and tomorrow will probably be great again, but the fact remains that there are down days whether you have a baby or not. And it's been a down day. Kind of like when you go to the fridge to see what there is to eat and find that nothing sounds good, but you know you need to eat, so you half-heartedly pick out something that you usually like and put it in your mouth and pretend that you're liking it.
It started this morning with immunizations. Now, I have a sad baby--which makes me sad--and sadness really takes the zip out of my productivity. I sit down to do things that I normally find appealing and stand up again in frustration. I continue this process until it's time for Melody or I to eat and find myself feeling as though I'm accomplishing nothing.
I can't shake the feeling that I ought to be doing something. Sometimes, my math-teacher dad would tell petrified students with an intimidating equation: "Do something, even if it's wrong!" (instructions I often found to be more terrifying than the initial problem), just to end the analysis paralysis. So, that's what I've been doing. I started off with a crying session with Melody. Obviously, that wasn't particularly helpful, so we followed up with a double nap, food, and an episode of X-Files. I found the nap to be most helpful, progressed to piano practice, and now find myself writing a blog. Soon we'll go pick up Alex and have some sort of Family Home Evening. It may have been a bit rough, but I think I'm on the way to another great day tomorrow. Take that, Karen Carpenter!
No comments:
Post a Comment