Friday, February 27, 2015

Confessions of a Cold-Hearted Curmudgeon

I've been away for a long while. I'd like to say that it's because I've been doing wonderful things, my house is clean, and I just haven't had time to write. Mostly I'd like to say that because it sounds a lot better than “I've been struggling to keep up with my own life . . . and, I've been watching a bit of Doctor Who on the side . . .” Because, ladies and gentlemen, I HAVE been watching a bit of Doctor Who. This is proof of my frailty as a mortal being.

You may not know this, but I am an ornery little cuss. Heart-warming videos with “Get the tissues, you're going to cry!” or “Look at all these laughing babies. Bet you can't watch the whole video without cracking a smile!!!!!” in the description become a personal challenge for me. “Oh? You think you're going to make me feel something? Doubtful.” I am so contrary that I have avoided books, movies, and etc. that have come highly recommended (“You will love this!”) because my pride can't handle the only two outcomes that ever occur: 1. They're right, I do love it; there goes my independence. Or, 2. HA! They were wrong! What a waste of my time. (This makes for a hollow victory, because really, I prefer being right while enjoying my media intake.)

This need to be right and in control of my emotions has led me to two things I always swore I would never do. (BTW, this seems an appropriate time to tell you that sometimes, I intentionally use the word "never"just to stick it to Justin Bieber. “Never say never”? Psh. I do what I want.) Anyway, those two things? That I would never watch Doctor Who, and that I would never mourn the loss of a famous individual. You already know that the first never has been rescinded, so it's time I tell you about the second.

I have lived my life harshly scorning the hyped-up media coverage surrounding the deaths of celebrities. Insensitively, I rolled my eyes when fervent fans flooded the internet with expressions of sadness: “She (or he) touched my life. I am so sad,” “Watching all of their films in remembrance!” and of course, many eloquently stated “OMG. CaN't even beleeve this”-es, or something to that effect.

And I asked myself why they were all carrying on as though they had lost a dear friend or family member. I coldly accused the masses of having deluded themselves into thinking they had a relationship with this individual, made the base assessment that these people were—in effect—mourning the loss of an imaginary friend, and carried on with my own self-absorbed endeavors. But that was before today.

Today marks the passing of Leonard Nimoy. And while I'm not going to tell you that I've cried or that my life has changed dramatically due to his creative genius, I will tell you that I feel his departure with a sort of pensive melancholy that was previously unknown to me in this context. Also, it is entirely possible that Alex and I will be watching a bit of TOS this evening in remembrance of our favorite science officer. While we may not be full-out mourning, I can admit that Mr. Nimoy will be missed. How appropriate that he would be the one forcing my admittance of my own humanity.

So, whether you were a close friend, family member, or a distant admirer of the man, the Vulcan, and the actor, I am sorry for your loss. Your choice in feelings seems quite logical. 

 

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