So,
I'm getting a little tired of having various internet memes tell me
what I believe and how I live my life. Mostly because they tend to be
wrong. Occasionally, when I run across one with a particularly
amusing punchline, I read it and snort before getting on with my
life. Unfortunately, most of the memes describing “my lifestyle”
that I encounter are just offensive to me. The other day I saw a meme
with a caption saying something to the effect of “I'm a
Conservative Christian and I believe in the sanctity of marriage. So
do four out of my five previous husbands.” I didn't laugh when I
read this one. Instead, I got a bit upset and cried some angry tears
because I feel like I am being misrepresented on the internet—along
with many others who share my similar values. You may say, “Well,
yeah, but that's because you're part of the group. If you were on the
opposing side of the fence, you would find it funny like the rest of
us.
Would
I?
The
whole point of me telling you this is to tell you that I, as someone
who identifies as a “conservative Christian,” am an individual. A
real person. And at the risk of sounding too much like an episode of
Sesame Street, it makes me sad when people aren't nice to me.
Actually, it makes me sad when people aren't nice—whether I'm the
victim or not. So, don't give me this crap about “The tables being
turned,” and “How do I like it?” because although I have my
beliefs, I DON'T HATE GAY PEOPLE. I don't
post memes ridiculing people who are different from me, and I don't
sit around in my spare time thinking of all the reasons I think they
are going to Hell. In fact, I don't even believe in Hell in thetraditional sense, and the person I most frequently condemn is
myself. I don't enjoy it when anybody is
mocked and ridiculed, whether they believe as I do or not!
Yes,
I'm a Christian. A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints—you may more readily recognize the term Mormon.
I also happen to lean to the right politically. I do value
the sanctity of marriage. I understand there are many who oppose my
viewpoint. If you are one of them, that's okay. I think you're wrong.
But I also know that you
think that I'm wrong.
The issue I'm concerned with here is not who is right and who is
wrong (because I think we'll find that at the end of the day, we each
believe the other is wrong, no matter what is said). My concern here
is that yes, we disagree. Now what?
I
suppose we could continue to create and share fallacious memes that
illustrate why the opposite view is stupid in addition to being
wrong, but I'm personally getting tired of the same old arguments.
Yes, sometimes heterosexual marriages end in divorce. I think this is
unfortunate. But (forgive me, you'll have to step inside my
religiously extremist mind here—try not to judge too harshly!) I
don't believe two wrongs make a right. Divorce, like marriage, is a
choice. And while some people may be making the choice of “serial
monogamy,” I am not one of them. When I say that marriage is
something that I hold sacred, this means that in addition to viewing
marriage as between a man and a woman, I was particularly careful
while searching for my own spouse. My grandma used to tell me that
most girls are more selective of their prom dresses than their
husbands. I was not about to be one of those girls. Because I view
marriage as special, it's not a relationship I was willing to enter
into with just anybody. I kept looking until I finally found someone
I believed was worthy to be called my husband. Now that we have found
each other, we are doing all we can to ensure that our marriage
lasts. So please, don't lump me into a group that believes that
divorce is a natural result of marriage. I'm putting a lot of work
into this relationship called marriage, and I find it hurtful when
others cavalierly come along and tell me I'm going to fail when they
don't even know my husband and me.
But
lets talk about something that many of those on “my side” have
been guilty of. Like the idea that heterosexual people have a
monopoly on the pursuit of happiness—particularly where
relationships and family are concerned. “Gay people shouldn't get
married or adopt because they can't have kids naturally.” You've
probably heard that one at least a few times. I don't like it because
I don't think that inability to reproduce “naturally” is
something to rub anyone's nose in. You probably find the “gay
people shouldn't have kids because they aren't good parents” line
of reasoning to be as repulsive and distasteful as I find the
“religious right-wingers are all hateful people who deserve their
multiple divorces” logic—because it's a sweeping generalization
that's wrong. Those people I know who identify as homosexual would
make great parents if the opportunity came their way. It would seem
to me, that the pain that comes to those individuals who are unable
to marry or have a family for reasons related to sexual orientation
is just as real as that of any single person who is unable to realize
their need for intimacy or any couple longing for a child. We should
stop mocking the sadness associated with these
circumstances—regardless of the sexual orientation of those
involved.
The
debate over whether or not homosexuals should be able to marry is a
sensitive one with very personal ramifications for both sides. It is
a discussion that should be had civilly—which civility is typically
lacking in internet memes. By all means, post factual sources that
support your cause. Electronically share your beliefs—I will be.
Just please, as you do your best to tell others how you feel about
controversial issues, leave the memes out of it. This is a delicate
subject with actual people on both sides, and we can't be fully
represented by such sweeping generalizations.
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